Not Plain Sailing
Words/ Tony Dunn, Matt ‘The Dude’ Cude
What happens when life gives you lemons? You strike out on your own as a board builder of course...
I met Matt back in 2014 when he was my instructor on a windsurfing refresher course. I was completely sucked in by the guy’s unwavering love and passion for windsurfing and, were it not for him, that course might just have been a fun, one-off thing that just petered out. But, Matt’s enthusiasm is infectious. Before I new it I was all over eBay buying up kit and my whole week was revolving around the wind, shoehorning in a session here and there, with Matt always offering his help and expertise.
Fast forward nearly a decade and I consider Matt more of a brother than just a friend. There are many parallels in our lives, but at the core he’s just a kind, thoughtful guy who’s always got your back and always there if you need someone to lift a cupboard or your spirits.
During that decade a lot has changed for Matt and I think his story resonates with many people. I’m proper proud of how he’s changed his life and hope that if, your situation sounds similar, this gives you some inspiration to take a risk and try something new.
I thought to myself the most obvious place to start is windsurfing. How and why I guess, the story of you! Kind of a condensed 7” version!
So, um, as a young person I was always into water sports, swimming, diving, kayaking, sailing and stuff like that. Yeah. I didn’t actually find windsurfing until I was about 19.
I’d never thought about windsurfing a day in my life. I’d done sailing and I enjoyed sailing. My granddad was in the merchant Navy, so it was kind of, I always had that kind of nautical background in some way or another, but I never thought about windsurfing. So as, as a young person I did what most young people do, go and wax up curbs late at night, go and skate, wear baggy trousers and stuff like that. <laughs>
And then my old man said to me – in the nicest way possible – “you’re a lazy toe rag and you need to go and do something productive and learn a skill”. So I went into catering and became a chef.
Wow, cheffing is tough!
So originally I trained as a chef cos I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but that industry, it’s very hard to be at the top of your game in that you have to be super on it and really and truly working late till three, four o’clock in the morning, you know, for blood, sweat and tears and it wasn’t something I was passionate about.
But, I still love cooking and at least I came away from it able to cook more than a poached egg! <laughs>
So the kitchen wasn’t for you, what next?
Somebody said to me about Ardingly Reservoir running an outdoor education course. So it was a crash course, NVQ level three and outdoor education, which was great. I applied and started the course, but found I was less interested in the paperwork side of it and the rick-box exercises and more interested in the practical side.
Yeah, you’re not a desk-job kind of guy! <laughs>
Yeah, totally! The owner and the chief instructor then gave me the opportunity to get more hands-on by allowing me to get my NGB qualifications in kayaking, windsurfing and dinghy sailing. I learnt new skills, honed old ones and that’s where my addiction to windsurfing started.
...I think for me, that’s what got me into windsurfing more than anything else was the fact that it was so addictive, no two days are the same.
So that’s where it all started then?
Yeah, they took me out windsurfing for the first time. Classic 18 year old learning to windsurf. In the darkest part of winter, you know, big starter board, big, big, big old sail just like holding a big barn door! And you know, that was it for me. There’s nothing like it. So I would always go out and I’d just be like, “I just wanna go faster”.
And I think for me, that’s what got me into windsurfing more than anything else was the fact that it was so addictive, no two days are the same. You are always learning something. Yeah. The variables, you know, being in and around nature, the variables are massive. I think I’ve got a very addictive personality and that fed into it massively.
Really suited the way you’re wired.
Exactly. Yeah, so I just kept doing it. Then they said to me, “We’ll take you down the coast”. So my first ever experience on the sea was back at home down in Worthing. It was quite a brutal day! Suddenly I’m out on the sea on a big plastic-fantastic board with a daggerboard and absolutely no clue whatsoever. <laughs>
I was just like, “right, I want to be on the sea”.
Moving to the sea from an inland lake is a steep learning curve isn’t it?!
100%. I ended up all the way downwind nearly playing the slot machines at Worthing pier! <laughs> So then I had to walk back up the coastline and the beach is stony as you like, so I had to walk all over the stones, barefoot, for a couple of miles carrying a big lump of a board and rig all the way back up to where I was parked.
And I was just like, if I can walk over all those stones, over that great a distance, with a weight that big, and still want to get out again, then this is what I WANT to do!
Yeah, that’s how you know you LOVE something isn’t it? If the worst part of it doesn’t stop you wanting more.
Yeah! So you can go away from a day filled with frustration and turn that into determination for the next session. Windsurfing gave me the opportunity to see past failure and turn that around and change my approach so I improved next time and I think that, in turn, helped me apply that approach to life too.
So what happened after you moved on from Ardingly?
So I worked, I did a few jobs in different water sports centres on the coast and inland. And then basically from there I had the opportunity to go traveling. I was able to use my catering and coaching skills while travelling, and that helped me develop more life skills in the process. The owner of the centre where I’d taken my instructor course said to me, “if you ever come back into the country and you need a job, then give me a shout”.
So when I came back I did just that! I’ll never forget, you know, standing there in my three quarter length corduroys – perfect job interview outfit. Yeah. <laughs> I bowled up in my VW van and was like “this is me, I’m back!”. At that point I was a senior instructor in dinghy sailing and I was then given the opportunity to progress and become a senior windsurf instructor, powerboat instructor and a stand up paddle board instructor as well. I worked for them for about 14 years.
To be able to pass what I was learning on to other people and have people go, “that was cool man”. You know, or more importantly, see people stay in the sport or get hooked on the sport.
Feels like being an instructor was your calling at that point.
To be able to pass what I was learning on to other people and have people go, “that was cool man”. You know, or more importantly, see people stay in the sport or get hooked on the sport. Like yourself and your brother. Yeah, it was a buzz.
Yeah, basically the whole thing about windsurfing is just the freedom of it, the exhilaration and the lifestyle that comes with it as well. But, I think the one thing I think about windsurfing more than anything else is that we can all share the experience regardless of our locations. My environment’s different to your environment, your environment’s different to mine. But fundamentally, we all share that same one thing about that sport, which is that it’s just so addictive.
So how did you progress from there?
I then spent more time sailing at the coast and met more people who mentored me, helped me develop my skills even more and fed that addiction.
One of those people was a good friend of mine, Stu. He was a big kid and he was a huge influence on me. He had such a natural ability at windsurfing and the buzz he got on and off the water galvanised my want and need to windsurf more.
He was the main reason for me to turn pro and start taking part in the British Wavesailing Association events across the country. We’d always talked about doing these events together, so when he passed it really spurred me on.
He wasn’t just an influence on the windsurfing side of it either, he could build anything out of wood and he’d always be like, “don’t skimp on it”. He was a stickler for detail and would get frustrated if something wasn’t done properly. He’d step back, take stock, work out a solution and do it right, which probably stemmed from the windsurfer in him.
It would drive some people mad ‘cos he’d spend a grand on something that they could have bought for a couple of hundred quid, but he wanted to do it right so he didn’t have to come back and do it again.
So after you lost Stu, seems like you kind of took the mantle and carried on with that “don’t skimp” attitude at the centre. What happened there? Because I know you got progressively more frustrated there in the final few years.
Yeah, so I carried with instructing and then started getting pulled into the management side, taking on more responsibility. At the start that was great, because I got to mentor new instructors and run a successful water sport centre and at that time I think I’d sort of grown up in a way. But sadly, the environment changed, staff started to get harassed by local unsavoury elements and the centre started attracting trouble on a regular basis. This then meant that the water sports became secondary to being a social worker and security guard and having to deal with physical and mental abuse.
But, because of my attitude I always told myself tomorrow is a different day and could be a better one.
My other half worked with us as well. Unfortunately, this took a toll on her sooner than me and she became burnt out as a result. She was able to recognise it in herself, but she was also able to see it in me. But I wasn’t able to see it at that point.
I was becoming very depressed and very angry, you know, and it was just kind of like, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
At that time I was unable to recognise what was happening to me, because I was too busy dealing with what was happening in my working environment. It was effecting my physical and mental state in a way that I couldn’t recognise at that time, and I just kept on going with a ‘pull your socks up’ mentality. But what was happening was that everything was chipping away at me in the background and that made me ultimately feel more lost than anything else. I was becoming very depressed and very angry, you know, and it was just kind of like, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’d lost perspective at that point.
I couldn’t deal with the aggravation, but I didn’t know how to get out of it. So then, thankfully for me, the pandemic turned up, so we were all forced into lockdown by May!
So what did you do?
Yeah, we were all let go the day before the first lockdown started and nothing was said about anyone’s future, it was just a case of ‘we can’t afford you anymore’.
I had a lot of mixed emotions – having worked for a company for that length of time, to be left in the dark like a mushroom was a bitter pill.
Thankfully we (myself and two other managers) were able to setup the furlough scheme which meant that staff could be temporarily re-employed and that took some of the uncertainty out of people’s futures.
This was the turning point.
The opportunity to rent a workshop turned up, and I’ve always wanted a workshop. I’d been repairing people’s boards but always, you know, in a shed or anywhere dry I could find to do it!
So I sat down with my partner, Sue, and we talked about it and she said, “look, you are not happy where you are. You’re only on furlough for a short period of time and you‘ve got the opportunity to change your life”.
Fast forward and I’m making a living repairing and restoring people’s boards and designing and building my own range of boards and accessories. Being my own boss means I get the opportunity to windsurf more too. Literally living the dream!
I don’t discuss how I’m feeling too much...for me, windsurfing is a huge therapy because I can get out and leave it all out in the water.
Was the right decision for sure, daunting but I think you could feel the weight lifting.
Yeah. Mentally there have been some moments in the past where I’ve just been like, I wake up in the morning, I just think to myself, “what’s the point?”. And, you know, there were moments where I just kind of thought I’d be better off if I was just sleeping forever. But then I’d think about the influence that I’ve had on people through the coaching or the influence that other people have on me, that just keeps me going, has pulled me out some dark days.
I don’t discuss how I’m feeling too much, but sometimes just being in the presence of a friend is, in its own way, the therapy that’s needed. And, you know, for me, windsurfing is a huge therapy because I can get out and leave it all out in the water.
My greatest fear was being on my own. Being alone, not necessarily physically, but mentally alone. Being alone mentally is possibly one of the worst things. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, that enclosure of being inside yourself.
Yeah, loneliness isn’t just “being on your own” is it?
Yeah, you might say to someone “I feel very alone”. And they might say, “well, have you thought about joining a club?” And it’s like, no, it’s not like that. I don’t want to have to stand there and shake you going, “why don’t you understand how I feel?”.
Yeah, I think loneliness is actually more about not knowing or believing, as you say, that there’s anyone else out there who’s in a similar situation or who might understand what you are going through.
Yeah. So coming back to the business side of it, I felt I’d been institutionalised and didn’t know where I was going. Suddenly I’m solo and it was like, this is scary now. I would say the two biggest influences was Sue and you. So I’ve got you two to blame for this! <laughs> Sue gave me the encouragement and the push to say, if you don’t do it, you’ll never know. And with you, you know, I respect your input and your, constructive criticism, whatever it is.
If you’re isolated on your own, you can’t work out where you’re at either. You need to have those reactions. Yeah. You need to share stuff with people.
How long has MC Watersports been live and kicking?
Come this July, it’ll be three years and this is definitely the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. And there was something someone said, they walked in and looked around at the workshop and said “are you proud of yourself?”. And I was like, “about what?”. And they were just like, “you’ve created in entire business, you know, from wanting to make boards, now you’re making boards, you’ve created all this yourself.” And I was like, “I never really thought about it, to be honest. I’m just doing it”. But then I thought ‘wow, yeah, I’m actually doing this!’.
I would never have done it if it hadn’t been for Covid to be honest, so I feel a bit kind of sad in a way that I had to wait for a pandemic, but equally I feel very, very blessed in another way. I had that opportunity to change my life and, for me personally, I needed that change!
Yeah, I genuinely think if I stayed at the centre I was working at, that would’ve been the end of my life right there.
So what’s next for ’The Dude’?
Sail when it’s windy, repair and build boards when it’s not, solve problems, hone skills, drink tea and after all that’s done…just chill!